The beginning

Why the fuck am I writing a blog? I'm not a good writer nor do I have good grammer. But, I do have something to say. Actually I have lots to say. For many months I was debating whether I wanted to start a blog or some type of journal as a way to get things off my chest and detailing my path. My path of adopting a child internationally.  I also may decide to share this with others who want to adopt and this can serve to be informative so they know what to expect.  I think I will wait till the masses know about this blog.  For now, it's just me.

So, let's start at the beginning. After some stuggles and much time of consideration, my wife and I decided to go down the path of adopting a child.  When we put our minds to something, we go balls out.  We are very determined and stubborn.  Qualities I think you need for this.  Initially you think it can't be that hard, especially as you are flooded with celebrity stores of how all of a sudden they have a kid from some country.  Well, that's not quite how it works.  Maybe it's different in America, but in Canada the government has to approve you first. 

It was hard to wrap my head around having the government determine if I can be a parent.  I mean, people get pregnant all the time and have kids.  And I see some of those crappy parents who yell and scream at their kids out in public.  Those people didn't get approved.  I hate those people.  To say it's hard to look at others when you are doing all this work to adopt is an under statement.  I just have to bite my tongue and carry one.  In fact, biting your tonque is an important lesson in this process. Pick your battles.  I'm sure it gets easier with time, but until you see the light at the end of the adoption path (ie. meeting your child) it's difficult.  By my tone you can tell that I'm not there yet.

Ok where were we.  Getting approved.  First step- doing a homestudy.  This is where you hire an approved social worker to poke and prode into your personal life, ie  how you were raised, what your parents are like, what do you and your partner do for fun, etc etc.  You do multiple interviews, around 5, some with your partner, some without and one at your home where they examine if your house is good enough.  Maybe not quite like that, but felt that way.  Like trying to play up your house to a snobby family member or friend.  It's simply a way for them to paint a picture of your life to document.  This document, along with 25+ hours of classroom training called pride makes up the majority of your home study.  Stacks of stacks of papers are to be filled out about your your medical, financial and personal details.  Obviously, you don't need to tell them everything, like when you used to sneak out of your house at 16 to drink or the spanking.  Sorry mom & dad. 

Moving on as this is boring me.  Pride training is in class training for two full weekends to open the door of adoption.  They focused on the difficulties of what you can deal with.  It's was very blunt and direct.  I think Pride deserves it's own blog as it may prove to be most interesting.  One topic was dealing with stupid questions like when people say " so why did his/her real parents give them up?"  or the one I heard from a co-worker "so your wife can't conceive?".  Moving on, this is about adoption and nothing else.  Stay tuned for pride training blog.

All I described above is mandatory by our government.

I think I am done for now.  I wonder who will read this?

Current update Oct 29, 2012:  got all approvals including russia, been waiting 3 months for a proposal of a child.

Thanks for listening, pardon the grammar.

R