Introducing Family

To set expectations for family members we told everybody well before ever going to Russia they won't meet our child till we are home for 3 months.  We got a lot of moans and groans, but keep reiterating 3 months.  We did this purposely to set expectations very low.  We had no intention of following this, but didn't tell anyone till after we were home.

We slowly had people come into our son's life.  We probably had visitors on a weekly basis.  We ensured no parenting by anyone but mama and papa.  That means no feeding, holding, putting to bed, bathing or taking to potty.  We followed the advise we received in training or through reading in books.  The only thing he has done being in Canada for 2 months is high five and started to hug others he has seen more than once. 

We did find when out of town family stayed over one time for a few days, the constant interaction may have confused things.  I felt he got too used to the family members and starting attaching.  Not like how he attached to us, his parents, but enough to concern me.  He would sit close to them, put his hand on them, etc.  We found after this visit we completed held off visitors for several days.close to a week to get him used to just the three of us.

You really can't hide in your house for the first 3 months.  Depending on your child's age he/she needs to see and interact with other children and play.  Playing indoors only is not ideal for my son who is 2.  Parks, swimming pools, gymnastics is how we entertain our child.  I think they are so used to other kids they probably miss being one of many around.  It's also an opportunity to see how they interact with others seeing more of their personality.  And honestly, the busier you keep the better for everyone.

I think not letting anyone parent your adopted child for awhile is a good way for them to attach to you. I always recall being told or reading the magic 3 months of just you and your child.  I can honestly say I see progress on how he is with us.  He is getting more comfortable, clingy, eye contact when interacting and refusing food.  All signs of attachment.