We went to the baby home this morning. It was quite big with a huge front area with trees and play areas. The trees had stuffed animals hanging in the branches and the play area had swings and other large toys under a canopy. We walked in, passed security and met the director. She was friendly and advised us of basics of our son some of which we had known from the proposal. We recorded the audio which I recommend. I was writing things, but at times couldnt keep up. It will be nice to have this down the road if asked. You do learn information on the biological parents.
Then we went to a room where there were some toys, but of course we brought tons of stuff. We were in the room with our translator and in he came with the director. He freaked and cried for awhile. By awhile I mean an hour. At this time you are frozen and dont know what to do. He is stressed out and you dont want to be aggressive. It was hard on us as we felt we were making him mad. We tried to introduce toys and he played with a shape sorter. He figured things out and he was definately determined to do it on its own. By the end of the first visit he was still iffy with us. We were not prepared for this and I dont think you can be. We were told this is a good sign as kids that attach quickly have an attachment disorder. They need to get used to you in time and not immediately.
Second visit of the day went the same way. But, he did allow us to hold him, but was hesistant. He seemed tired so maybe he was too tired to cry. We walked around with him for a bit and he seems to like walking. He walked very well and sometimes held my wifes hand.
Any advise I would give to future adoptive parents of older kids. Be prepared, they wont cling and work at their speed. We were told they expect things to get better. Before leaving we saw him with his buddies and the workers asked him where his mama and papa were and he pointed to us. That felt great. Unfortunately another kid in the room started calling me dada.
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